By Ben Lobel on Small Business UK – Advice and Ideas for UK Small Businesses and SMEs

Managing a career and raising children is a real challenge for many people, more so for those who have the added pressure of running their own business.

Research from the British Business Bank found that two thirds of British parents want to start their own business to have more flexibility, among other things. But finding the right balance between work and family life is hard, especially during the school summer holidays. So, ‘parentpreneurs’ have to become wiser at organising their time and commitments.

Serial entrepreneur Peter Tuvey, a father of five and founder of alternative lender Fleximize, knows what it takes to be successful at both. Here he reveals five brutal truths that every ‘parentpreneur’ needs to hear.

Like it or not, sacrifices will have to be made as a parentpreneur

Being an entrepreneur with a family means sometimes having to choose between the two things that you value the most in life; your family and your business. It means missing birthday parties to give a pitch, or not making it home for bedtime stories to make a deadline. At other times, it involves cancelling what might have been the most important meeting of your career to take your child to A&E. Whatever happens, you may feel like you’ve let somebody down, but don’t dwell on this. Raising children and growing a business take time. If you drop the ball occasionally, your children will eventually understand that you make sacrifices to provide for them. Similarly, your staff – if you keep them close – will know how important your children are to you.

Nurture your relationships

Commitments to your children and your work will leave little time for anyone else, whether it is your friends or a romantic partner. It is easy to neglect your loved ones because of stress or just a sheer lack of time.

“Unfortunately, there is no qualification you can take to prepare you to be an entrepreneur or a parent”

Hours together with your partner will be reduced, but the way to combat this is simple: make time. Carving out a few hours with your loved one to talk and relax together can save you from a lot of needless arguments and stress. Looking back at having children and a company, so many fights could have been avoided if I had simply communicated how I felt at the time.

You’re the boss

Despite the responsibilities you will have, and the inevitable sacrifices you will have to make, you will find that you enjoy a certain amount of freedom as your own boss. Unlike a 9-5 job where you abide by an employment contract and report to a manager, you organise your day how you want as a business owner. This can feel quite liberating, and it means that you don’t have to apologise for leaving the office to look after your children.

The flipside, however, is that you always must be available even when you’re not in the office. One thing about being an entrepreneur – and I’m still unsure if this is a pro or a con – is that your brain never switches off, and the emails never stop. Unlike in a regular office job, ultimately it is you who has the responsibility for all staff members.

No qualification can prepare you

Unfortunately, there is no qualification you can take to prepare you to be an entrepreneur or a parent. As every parent knows, the moment you come back from the hospital with your first child, your whole life changes and you can never be fully prepared for the culture shock. Similarly, when you first start to get investment in your business, there’s no turning back. All you can do is learn quick, accept the sacrifices and develop a strong sense of self.

Swallow your pride

‘Parentpreneurs’ cannot do it alone and you’d be a fool to try. Starting out in business with small children is incredibly tough and the help of others – extended family, friends and colleagues – is vital if you are going to avoid compromising both your children and your business.

Yes, you may be the ‘founder’ of the company and the ‘parent’, but you cannot be everywhere all the time. You don’t need to suffer in silence and you cannot afford to alienate your staff or those close to you.

What’s more, the people who work for you will grow and thrive from the added responsibility you give them. When I sold my last company to set up Fleximize with my business partner, eight of my staff followed me. I see how incredibly fortunate I was as without these amazing people my company simply wouldn’t be what it is today, and I would undoubtedly have missed out on so much more with my children.

Resilience is key

In the end, being a parentpreneur means having confidence in your decisions and never doubting yourself, even when others do. You must be resilient in the face of criticism and remember that a negative situation doesn’t have to be permanent. If you manage your own and others’ expectations, keep sight of what is important to you and manage your time well. Then, if done correctly, running a successful business and a healthy family needn’t be at odds. In fact, you’ll find that the two can come to complement each other and make for a truly fulfilling life.

Sharon Dhillon, managing director of Caremark Bromley, discusses how she manages to balance her business and family life. 

I launched in-home care company, Caremark Bromley, in late 2010, with the support of my husband. We decided to go into the care sector for various reasons – when a family member became ill, we all rallied around to take care of him, until he passed away. It inspired us to want to make a change in our community and offer a great standard of care – especially for those who may not live near their loved ones.

By the summer of 2011, we were well established. Now, almost eight years on, we work with 78 carers, and provide around 2,600 hours of care per week.

Less than 18 months after launching the business, we welcomed our first son. In 2015, we had our second child, a little girl, and our youngest joined the family just one year ago. Launching, nurturing and growing a business, specifically one in the care sector, can be demanding and challenging – we’ve managed it while raising three small children!

“I’ve always worked hard and I’m of the mindset that my career shouldn’t suffer just because I’ve had children”

It’s all possible thanks to the strict routines we set in place as a family. We plan our days with attention to detail and communicate, as a couple, so we know who is where and when. My husband, who is a property developer, has taken a step back from the care business, meaning I’ve taken the reins in all manner of business leadership – recruitment, training, client engagement and daily management of the business.

With the help of family, and with our two eldest at school and nursery, I’m able to work four days a week. I truly love my job and, as a managing director, I understand the importance of delegation. That being said, I never take my finger off the pulse! I fill my schedule when I’m at work, using every spare moment and I never let a task from one day fall into the next.

My advice to other parents is to recognise your driving force and use that as inspiration. My children deserve the best and, above all else, I want them to be happy. Working hard is the only way that I’m going to be able to give them the best life and I won’t stop until I know they’re taken care of. It helps that I’m really ambitious – I don’t give up without a fight! I’ve always worked hard and I’m of the mindset that my career shouldn’t suffer just because I’ve had children. If anything, that makes me more determined to succeed!

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Further reading

Top 10 tips for single parents who want to start their own business – Single parents start their new businesses with less money than most start-ups and they work longer hours. Joanna Morris shares 10 tips to make your single-mum or dad business a success

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