Recognizing a narcissist can be a tricky endeavor. They’re masters at playing hide-and-seek with their true intentions and emotions. But what happens when they realize you’ve seen through their veil of charm and deceit?

Well, things can get pretty interesting. A narcissist’s behavior can undergo a drastic shift once they know they’re not fooling you anymore.

This article will delve into the 8 things that a narcissist does when they realize you’ve figured them out​.

As you read on, you’ll learn how to spot these telltale signs and navigate the narcissist’s labyrinth more effectively.

Let’s get started.

1) They ramp up the charm

Narcissists are notorious for their charm. It’s one of their most powerful tools for manipulation. But when they sense you’re onto them, this charm isn’t dialed down – it’s amped up.

Suddenly, you find yourself showered with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures. It’s a full-blown charm offensive aimed at making you second guess your suspicions.

This is the narcissist’s way of reeling you back into their web of control. It’s an attempt to make you question your judgment and your perception of reality.

When you notice the charm being turned up to eleven, take a step back and ask yourself why. This sudden shift could be a clear sign that the narcissist knows you’re onto them.

2) They try to Gaslight you

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist tries to make you question your own sanity. It’s a tactic I’ve personally experienced.

I once had a friend who was a classic narcissist. When I started pulling away and voicing my concerns about his manipulative behavior, he suddenly became adamant that I was the one with the problem.

He’d say things like “You’re too sensitive,” or “You’re imagining things,” and even went as far as claiming that certain events didn’t happen at all. It was a mind-bending experience that left me doubting my own memories and perceptions.

This is a common tactic used by narcissists when they realize they’re losing control. By making you question your reality, they hope to regain their power over you. It’s a cruel game, but being aware of it is the first step in breaking free from their manipulative grasp.

3) They play the victim card

Often, when a narcissist senses that they’re losing their grip on you, they resort to playing the victim. It’s a classic ploy aimed at eliciting sympathy and diverting attention away from their toxic behaviors.

Suddenly, they’re the ones who are being wronged, misunderstood or mistreated. They weave intricate tales of woe and hardship, masterfully painting themselves as the innocent party.

This is rooted in a psychological phenomenon known as the ‘Persecution Complex’. Interestingly, this complex is often associated with narcissism and involves an irrational belief that one is being conspired against or persecuted.

So when you see a narcissist start to play the victim, remember that it’s just another tactic in their manipulation arsenal. They’re hoping to disarm you with guilt and empathy, making it harder for you to hold them accountable for their actions. Stay strong and don’t let their theatrics sway you.

4) They start the blame game

Once a narcissist realizes you’ve caught on to their antics, they may try to shift the blame onto you. Suddenly, everything that’s wrong in their life or in your relationship is all your fault.

They might accuse you of being ungrateful, overly critical, or impossible to please. The goal here is to make you feel guilty and responsible for their behavior and the problems in your relationship.

This blame-shifting is a classic diversion tactic. Instead of owning up to their actions, narcissists would rather point fingers and deflect attention away from their own shortcomings.

If you start hearing a lot of “you” statements like “You always…” or “You never…”, be aware. It’s just another attempt to manipulate you and maintain their control. Stay firm in your convictions and don’t let them shift the blame onto you.

5) They use silent treatment as a weapon

Silence can be golden, but when a narcissist uses it as a weapon, it can be incredibly hurtful. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that narcissists often resort to when they feel exposed.

It’s as if they’ve built an invisible wall around them. Suddenly, they’re unresponsive, ignoring your calls, texts, and attempts at communication. It feels like you’re talking to a brick wall.

The intent behind this icy silence is to make you feel insignificant, to punish you for seeing through their charade. It’s a way of saying “you don’t matter” without uttering a single word.

When you find yourself facing this wall of silence, it’s important to remember that you do matter. You’re not alone in this and it’s not your fault. It’s just the narcissist’s way of maintaining control when they feel threatened.

6) They become overly critical

When a narcissist realizes that you’ve figured them out, they might resort to criticism. Suddenly, nothing you do seems good enough. The jokes you used to share aren’t funny anymore, your ideas are constantly belittled, and even your appearance might be under scrutiny.

I remember when this happened with a close family member. Suddenly, every choice I made was wrong, every opinion I had was dismissed. It felt like I was walking on eggshells around them, constantly second-guessing myself and feeling inadequate.

This is just another manipulation tactic. By criticizing you, the narcissist hopes to lower your self-esteem and make you more susceptible to their control.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s crucial to remember that their criticism isn’t about you. It’s about their need for control and their fear of losing it. You are enough as you are, and no one has the right to make you feel otherwise.

7) They threaten to leave

When the narcissist’s usual tactics fail and they realize you’ve seen through their facade, they may resort to threatening to leave or end the relationship. This is a desperate attempt to regain control by playing on your fears of abandonment or loss.

They may say things like “Maybe we’re better off apart,” or “I don’t think I can be with someone who doesn’t trust me.” These threats are intended to make you doubt your perceptions and back down from your stance.

It’s important to understand that this is just another manipulation tactic. Stay strong and remember that it’s okay to stand up for yourself, even if it means potentially losing the relationship. Your mental and emotional well-being should always come first.

8) They deny everything

Denial is the narcissist’s final line of defense. When cornered, they might outright deny their manipulative behavior and gaslight you into believing that none of it ever happened.

“You’re overreacting,” “I would never do that,” or “You’re just too sensitive,” are common responses you might hear when confronting them with your observations. This is a desperate attempt to maintain control by confusing you and making you question your judgment.

Your feelings and perceptions are valid. Don’t let the narcissist’s denials sway you. Hold onto your truth and stand firm in your convictions.

 

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